Gettin’ Funky with the Fishes

The warm weather is finally back in New York City, and Sex week is in full swing at Deep Sea News. This afternoon they provided musical accompaniment for grooving sea turtles and kinky limpets with Marvin Gaye and Isaac Hayes, respectively. Since one of my prouder accomplishments as an undergrad was clarifying for the national media the role of Funk in the mission of the Stanford Band after an unfortunate incident involving a dancing Tree, I approve wholeheartedly.

I had heard the story of the limpet Crepidula fornicata before, via this Green Porno video (SFW, more or less). Like most of the series, it is unrepentantly weird/awesome.

What I just learned today, however, from reading C. fornicata’s Wikipedia page, is that this is the “slipper shell” that I used to love finding on the beach. Thank you, nature, for getting gametes on my childhood memories.

It’s also worth noting that Carolus Linnaeus himself, the father of modern taxonomy, named this gastropod, and he didn’t mince around with any bullshit euphemisms when he did. The dude just straight up said, “I see this limpet is getting its bone on like WOAH. I don’t care if it is 1758, bitches, Im’a give it a straight-up raunchy name, which scientists will use FOREVER. WHAT?” The dude had no mercy.


[EDIT]: In other news about things I had no idea about, Isabella Rossellini (writer/star of Green Porno) is the daughter of Ingrid Bergman. Here’s looking at you, kid.

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